D-Blog Week: The Positive Diabetes Poem

The prompt for today's post is to write a poem about diabetes.  In 2012 I wrote a poem for the 'Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge' called Bad Diabetes Day, which I loved writing!  I'm always excited about opportunities to do something a bit creative and different, so I really enjoyed writing this one too:

The Positive Diabetes Poem

As a little girl I'd never tell,

That I had type 1 D.

I was worried what people might say,

And what they would think of me.

Did her parents feed her too much sugar?

Did she used to be fat?

I was embarrassed of my diabetes,

Didn't want to answer questions like that.

I just wanted to be normal,

Eat whatever I liked for tea,

Not have to think about my blood sugars,

Be injection and blood test free.

But as I got older I realised,

No one can be blamed.

I didn't 'make' myself diabetic,

I shouldn't feel ashamed.

Sometimes bad things happen,

But they make you who you are.

Focusing on the positives

Can get you really far!

Now when I inject in public,

Where other people might be sat,

I remind myself I have diabetes,

And there's nothing wrong with that!

D-Blog Week: Diamonds of The DOC

There are several reasons why I love D-Blog Week but the main one is that it invites people living completely different lives, in completely different parts of the world, and brings them together through writing about one thing we all have in common - diabetes.  Seeing as this is the final post of this years D-Blog Week, it's time to shed some light on some of the superstars of the Diabetic Online Community.  Thank you to the following people in particular, some being new discoveries and some old favourites, for providing me with lots of quality reading this week:

The Tangerine Diabetic

Dave's posts are fantastically written and his ability to make the D seem humorous is so uplifting.  I'm so glad that he decided to take part in D-Blog Week as reading the musings of The Tangerine Diabetic the past few days has been a treat!

1 type 1

Kim's blog is one of my exciting new discoveries, thanks to D-Blog Week!  I love how her posts are so heartfelt that they manage to have me on the verge of tears one minute and then sporting a smile from ear-to-ear the next.  I hope my attitude towards my diabetes is as great as hers after 26 years of living with it.  Really looking forward to reading more from 1 type 1 after this week!

Vicki's Notebook

Vicki's writing is truthful, inspirational and absolutely beautiful.  Through D-Blog Week her posts have been first point of call for me to read before writing my own, as her ability to make you see the positive side of diabetes is a daily necessity.  Vicki's Notebook is consistently wonderful and enjoyable to read and Vicki's spirit is consistently contagious!

Teapot Diabetic

Emma's blog was one of the first that I started reading when I started writing about my diabetes 2 years ago and I've been addicted to her posts ever since.  Her down to earth approach to diabetes is admirable and the Teapot Diabetic is a very honest account of living with type 1.  Keep writing, Emma - I love it!

Thank you Karen Graffeo at Bittersweet Diabetes for organising yet another amazing opportunity to get further involved with and meet other wonderful members of The DOC.  It's because of the people in The Diabetic Online Community that diabetes feels less like a burden and more like a blessing.  Also a massive thank you to those who have read my posts this week and beforehand - as always, your acknowledgement and support means so much!

I have a 2 hour train journey today, so I plan to spend it all catching up on the posts from the last week and I can't wait!  It is with sadness that I say goodbye to D-Blog Week 2013, but I am looking forward to seeing you all again next year.  Wishing everyone in the DOC happiness, health and heroic blood sugars! xo

Diabetic Dais' 2nd Blogging Birthday!

Today marks two years since I wrote my first post for Diabetic Dais!  A lot has changed in two years in my personal life, in terms of my diabetes and at the point where both intertwine.  At 18 years of age, and when I started Diabetic Dais, I had a HbA1c of 10.2%, I couldn't carb count and I thought the only way I could manage my weight was to skip injections.  Now I have completed the DAFNE course, I feel dreadful if my blood sugar goes above 9mmol and my last HbA1c was 7.7%. This blog and the amazing people I have met through it have been such an incredible support system and I doubt I would be managing my diabetes in the way I am doing had it not been for them.

A few special mentions go out to Vicki Gibbs and the other wonderful people at Student Diabetics UK, Meagan Esler, Karen Watson, Simon Shaw, Ant Brown and Nicola Maude.  Thank you for being part of my diabetes and blogging journey so far.  Also, of course, thank you to everyone who continues to read my posts; your support means more to me than months of perfect blood sugars! xoxo

Small Changes Make Big Differences

In the 16 years I've had type 1 diabetes, I can't honestly say that there's been a lot I can be proud of regarding it.  Sometimes I feel like living with type 1 diabetes is kind of like watching the news; the information you're fed from it can be pretty negative.  A few times a week my glucose meter shows me a blood sugar reading I don't like. When I was 12 years old I had to increase the amount of injections I was taking from three a day to four. Once I had a virus which caused ketoacidosis so I had to spend a night in hospital and, this time last year, I received a letter informing me that I had developed background retinopathy.

It's probably fair to say I was sad about it, because sometimes knowing that you've damaged yourself and caused your own pain is equally as upsetting as feeling like you don't deserve the circumstance you've found yourself in. I cried about it, blogged about it and eventually came to the realisation that things needed to change.

I started carb counting when I knew that I could, completely stopped skipping injections altogether and started testing my blood sugars more regularly.  To begin with it felt like a battle and I just wanted to cook my potatoes without having to weigh them first and some days I wanted to leave the restaurant without having to give my insulin before I could get on the bus home, but I didn't.  After a while the changes were no longer changes, they were the norm and the battle was no longer a battle, it was a healthy routine.

Three weeks ago I went for my first diabetic retinopathy screening and yesterday I came home to a letter.  I opened it cautiously, as though something was going to jump out of the envelope, and took a deep breath before beginning to read the text.  To my absolute delight, I discovered that my retinas appear completely normal and they have healed to a good standard!  I flung my arms around my boyfriend, who has been so supportive with all aspects of my diabetes management, and cried tears of complete and utter joy.

In the 16 years I've had type 1 diabetes, I can't honestly say that there's been a lot I can be proud of regarding it, but this is one of the things where I can say that I am.  Sometimes living with type 1 diabetes is like watching the news, but I suppose that only makes the good things seem even better!

D-Blog Week: READ ME

Last year I participated in my first Diabetes Blog Week.  I'd only created Diabetic Dais a week or so beforehand and, at the time, I was pretty nervous about taking part.  As it turned out I loved everything about it!  I enjoyed writing my posts, being able to be as creative as I liked and finding my own writing style.  Still, the thing that made last years D-Blog Week so special for me was being able to connect with other diabetics by reading their fantastic blogs.

I was so pleased when I read the prompt for today's post and saw that we were to share some of our favourite D-Blogs.  Although I love putting time and effort into my own blog, for me, the thing that helps me the most with managing my own diabetes is being a part of such a supportive and diverse online community.

Olly Double writes for Diabetes UK's blog site and is a father of two teenage type 1 (there's some alliteration for you!) diabetic sons.  I love his writing style.  He never fails to find the right balance between the seriousness of diabetes and having fun.  If you can read one of his posts without laughing, or at least smiling, I'd be surprised!

I came across Pamela Curtis' blog during last month's #HAWMC.  No, she doesn't write about diabetes, but her consistently optimistic approach to her rare chronic illness is incredible and inspirational to say the least.  Reading 'Make This Look Awesome' really makes me want to take a leaf out of her book (or take a post out of her blog?!) in my way of looking at diabetes. Super star!

Vicki Gibbs is a friend of mine; a friend who I was introduced to via the Diabetic Online Community.  I always thoroughly enjoy reading her 'notebook' and I love her no-fuss, honest approach to taking care of diabetes.  Along with being one of the founders of Student Diabetics UK, she puts a lot of time into educating people about diabetes and is so passionate about doing so.  Vicki is such a great girl and her blog is equally as wonderful as she is.

Day 30: Challenge Met!

So guys'n'gals, it's Day 30 and the final post of HAWMC.  I know I didn't post every day, but I still worked hard to make sure I produced all of the posts by April 30th, so I'm going to say that I pretty much met the challenge. 

The last prompt was to produce a word cloud on Wordle, buttt I couldn't get Java to work on my laptop so I drew one.  It's quite literally a diabetes word cloud...

Day 27: Trials and Triumphs of T1

5 challenges:

1)  Doing my injections - I think this is one of the main challenges for most diabetics.  For me it's not because they hurt or I'm scared of needles, but because sometimes I just don't want to. Sometimes I feel I'm too busy, or I'm not in the right environment, or I just want to be non-diabetic for a day or two.

2)  Going to endo appointments -  I don't struggle as much with attending these anymore, but they used to feel like the bane of my life.  It didn't even matter that I only had to go every 3months in the paediatric clinic, just the thought of the whole ordeal would fill me with dread. Because I wasn't taking care of my diabetes properly, I hated finding out what my HbA1c was, having my insulin doses adjusted and being asked if I'd been recording my blood sugars, when I only ever felt that I was disappointing my diabetes team and myself when I hadn't.  The last thing I wanted to do was talk about my diabetes, when I was simply wishing it would disappear.

3)  Glucotabs and Lucozade - Because I've had diabetes since being really young, I've never acquired a sweet tooth.  I find anything that's really sugary to be absolutely repulsive.  However, two of the best quick-acting hypo treatments are Glucotabs and Lucozade.  Chocolate bars and cookies are appealing, but they won't raise your bg's quickly because of the fat in them and the way they are digested.  Glucotabs are the easiest to carry around with you and Lucozade is usually the easiest to get hold of in an emergency.   Convenient?  Yes.  Tasty?  No.  Sometimes I have to force myself to drink Lucozade or shove Glucotabs down my neck, even if I'm really low.

4)  Going for my retinopathy screening - Everytime I go, I work myself into such a frenzy.  Not only do I absolutely despise eye-drops, but I worry so much about what the results are going to be.  As soon as the screening is complete and they have the photos, I always hastily ask if they look ok, my voice quivering.  Sometimes I wonder if I should even go, but then I have to remind myself that ignorance isn't bliss.

5)  Doing the right thing -  I've often wrote about how diabetes doesn't give you a choice.  You have to do injections, test your blood etc.  However, I've realised that the thing that actually makes diabetes hard sometimes is that we do have a choice.  If I don't want to test my blood sugar, or give my insulin or treat my hypos I don't have to.  Although I know there will be horrendous long-term complications, sometimes it just feels easier not to at the time. So, for me, making the choice to do the right thing for my diabetes can be the biggest challenge of all.

5 victories:

1)  Doing the DAFNE program - Those on my diabetes team know that trying to just get me on it was like trying to make a sheep 'moo' for a long time.  I didn't want to know because 1. I was dubious that anything could be so amazing that it would massively improve my management and 2. I generally wasn't interested in anything that involved diabetes.  However after months of persuasion and going on and on about it, I did DAFNE.  They weren't lying, it was amazing.  I met some wonderful people and learned so much.  My HbA1c has improved significantly since doing DAFNE and I would recommend it to every diabetic.

2)  Talking to others about my diabetes - I used to be useless.  I'd get embarrassed and shy away from any situation which meant I'd have to reveal that I have diabetes.  That often meant that I'd end up in some sticky situations.  I'm not like that anymore.  I've come to realise that my diabetes is part of me and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

3)  Testing my blood - Estimating how much insulin I needed to give myself by seeing how high/low I felt at the time was never a good technique.  I did this most days for a couple of years and I regard myself as being lucky for not being riddled with diabetes complications as a punishment for my stupidity.  

4)  Carb counting - Hit and miss, hit and miss.  I was like that for years. I never really took notice as to why carb counting was so important and so, in my ignorance, rarely bothered to do it.  Nowadays, there isn't one packet of crisps or chocolate bar with unread nutritional information.  There isn't one rice dish or bowl of pasta that goes unweighed.  There isn't one place that I don't take my Carbs&Cals book.  My boyfriend and I even cook our potatoes/spaghetti/whatever in separate pans, just so we know I'm going to bolus correctly.  Some may say it's excessive, but I know I'm doing the right thing.

5)  Blogging - I see 'Diabetic Dais' and my Diabetes UK blog as victories because of how much writing them improves my diabetes control.  The more I write about diabetes, the more I focus on it and the better my blood sugars are!  Not only that, but I've met some beautiful diabetics through writing my blogs, who I wouldn't necessarily have had the pleasure of talking to if I didn't rant and ramble on like I do!

A Quick Note

Hi guys and girls.  Just a quicky.  I know I haven't been great at keeping up with my 30 posts over 30 days, but it is a challenge and I'm still determined to rise to it. 

The past couple of weeks have been hectic, yet so enjoyable.  It was so nice to go home over Easter and visit family and friends, although now I miss them more than ever.  I started my new job last Tuesday which I absolutely love.  Oh yeah and the hard drive of my laptop died a sudden death, much to the dismay of my mother who paid almost the amount of a new laptop for a replacement hard drive as little as 6 months ago.

Thankfully my superhero of a boyfriend has managed to save the day by providing me with his spare laptop for the time being.  

Today's my day off so I'm currently sat at the end of the bed, laptop ironically on my lap, Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King playing (I've watched all 3 films today) and about to hammer out some catch-up HAWMC posts.  Wish me luck!

P.S.  Big thank you to Vicki Gibbs for checking up on me during my absence from the blogging world.  Was really thoughtful of you lovely and I really appreciated it :) x

Day 1: HAWMC Begins!

30 posts over 30 days?  Wow.  We'll soon see if I'm cut out for it.  Saying that I suppose if I could inject myself 4 times a day, everyday for over 15 years then I should be capable of blogging for a solid month.  Definitely.

Today's prompt is to imagine that I'm going to bury a time capsule of me and my health focus that won't be opened until 2112.  Here goes...

• NovoPen 4
• NovoRapid and Lantus insulin cartridges
• Accuchek Aviva blood testing monitor
• Accuchek MultiClix finger pricker
• 5mm needles
  

I'm really hoping that when they're found in 2112 they'll look like foreign objects from another planet.  I would want the diabetics of the future to see them and look at them with the same confused expression as I did when I first saw one of the old horse-syringes.  I want them to not be able to comprehend how anyone could ever have used such a monstrous looking device, because in 2112 type 1 diabetes won't exist.

There will be no need for injection pens or blood testing monitors because a cure will have been found.  Words like 'bolus' and 'hypo' will have been forced out of the dictionary and out of our vocabulary, once and for all.  The only place you'd see them would be in history books (or on some wonderful Kindle/iBook thingy-majig of the future!)  In 2112 no D-parent will have to worry that their child will slip into a diabetic coma and, when their pancreas calls it a day, no type 1 diabetic will be told that they have to inject themselves every day for the rest of their life.

So there's the dream.  However, before I go putting all of my diabetes supplies into this time capsule, I should probably make sure I've got spares.  Somehow I'm doubtful that the dream's going to come true in time for my next meal.

Oh yeah, I'd also put a can of Diet Coke in because I love the stuff.  Although I don't think I'd love it as much if it looked like this in 2112:

A Letter To My Parents - In Aid Of Mother's Day

Mum and Dad

Seeing as it's Mother's Day I thought I'd take the opportunity to let you both know how much I appreciate you both.  So here goes...

I think it's hard for anyone who doesn't have to deal with diabetes on a regular basis to realise just how difficult it can be.  Although I know how it feels to have diabetes myself, I think that in the past I've underestimated how much it has affected you both too.

Being told that your three year old child has a incurable disease such as diabetes isn't what any parent wants to hear.  No parent wants to have to inject their child, draw blood from their fingers or force them to eat, otherwise they'll be ill or worse (remember how I used to hide my second piece of toast in my room, only to be found weeks later?!)  From the moment of diagnosis your lives were changed and I can't even begin to imagine the fear and shock you must have felt.  Despite this you both accepted it and tried your hardest to learn the in's and out's of my diabetes, in order to make sure that I was healthy and that my blood sugar levels were controlled.

Mum - Happy Mother's Day!  I know that the last 15 years haven't been easy for you, but I thank you for supporting me with my diabetes through them.  In all honesty I realise now that I didn't always help you in helping me.  I often thought that I knew best when it came to my diabetes and didn't listen to your advice when I should have done (I know you told me dozens of times that I needed to follow my fast acting hypo treatment up with slow burning carb, otherwise I'd drop again!) 

You have done so much to encourage me in taking care of my diabetes.  You even altered your diet to make sure that I was eating what I needed to.  You and I have had some 'adventures' with diabetes, from going low on the top of a cliff in Devon with no hypo treatment, to several hypo's on motorways (one resulting in me eating stale bread to bring my bg up!) 

Thank you for always reassuring me that, if I make diabetes my main priority, it never has to stop me from doing anything.  I know you used to hate going to the hospital for my check-ups because the doctors were judgmental - they never had any right to be.  You have done such an amazing job with my diabetes and without your input I wouldn't have the positive attitude towards it that I do.   Mum, you are an angel.

Dad, I know you worry about my diabetes care and I also know that over the past 15 years it's caused you a lot of stress.  I want you to know that now I'm older, I do take care of it and I do so because of how you have educated me.

I love how you send me links to diabetes websites with information about the latest technologies and the progress that is being made with regards to finding a cure.  Thank you for buying me books on diabetes and nutrition and subscribing me to Balance Magazine.  You take an interest in everything to do with my diabetes and that has encouraged me to be interested too.

I know that you worry because you love me, but you really don't have to.  Because of you I am eager to take care of my diabetes.  Again, I'm sorry that I haven't always taken notice of what you thought would be best but I listen to you now and you inspire me.  Dad, I trust you with everything.  You are my rock.

More than anything I want to thank you both for noticing of my symptoms, knowing that I had diabetes and for making sure I was diagnosed (despite being told by a GP that it was just a 'stage' I was going through).  You saved me and you have made my life a healthy and happy one.

We might not be the most conventional or nuclear family (okay, we're definitely not) but what we are is friends.  Thank you for bringing me up, for reinforcing the importance of controlling my diabetes and for supporting me always in everything I do, including writing this blog.  I couldn't have wished for better parents and I love you both with all of my heart.

From your Dais xxx