D-Blog Week: The Tasty Treat Hypo-Treatment

As I wrote yesterday about the main thing that keeps me smiling through a bad diabetes day, I've decided to pick the 'Diabetes Dream Device' wildcard today.  As we know, hypos are horrible.  They can make you shake, give you headaches, make your lips and tongue numb and make you seem like a completely different person.  Maybe it would be easier to deal with if treating hypos was easy, but unfortunately that's not necessarily the case!

There are lots of misconceptions about the correct and most efficient way to treat a hypoglycaemic attack.  It's not just about eating anything with sugar in.  There are lots of foods with high sugar content, but the amount of fat and other ingredients in them significantly slows down how fast our bodies absorb the sugar to bring our blood sugars back up.  Also measuring how much sugar you have to eat to make your blood sugars rise, but not go too far and end up at the other end of the scale, is pretty much an art in itself.

I don't only hate hypos because of how awful they make me feel, but also because of how much I dislike the types of food and drink that makes the best treatment for them.  When my blood sugars are low, I can't help but crave all the food that wouldn't be a very fast solution in an emergency.  The most useful existing treatments like drinks like Lucozade are ones that I don't like the taste of, and glucose tablets only make my mouth feel like a desert.  Instead, all I want to eat or drink when I'm having a hypo is chocolate and milkshakes and other sugary, yet very fatty, treats that would take a lot longer for the sugar to take effect.

This is why my diabetes dream device would be the 'Tasty Treat Hypo-Treatment'!  You would have a small electronic device into which you would input how many grams of fast-acting sugar you require to bring your blood sugars up to the desired level.  You would then choose whichever food you fancied and the device would transmit the sugar to the food.  This would take the place of any existing sugar or fat that was already in it.  Then you can enjoy a very yummy hypo-treatment that gets into your system quickly, and not have to suffer a raging high-peak later in the day...ta-daaaaa!

Okay, so there are definitely a few practical issues as it could never actually be made but still...I can dream, right!? :)

D-Blog Week: D-Thanks Fairy Does Diabetes!

I've opted for the wild card prompt of 'design your dream diabetes device' today, simply for an opportunity to bring back an old favourite of mine.  The first year I participated in D-Blog Week, and actually exactly 2 years ago today, I chose to use a wild card and wrote a story called 'Weeping Daisy and The D-Thanks Fairy'.  Since then, good old D-Thanks Fairy has made a couple of other appearances on Diabetic Dais and so I thought it would be a shame for her not to show her face again this year.

She used to be a whisper of encouragement in times of need but, as of now, D-Thanks Fairy is so much more!  When you are low, she sprinkles her magic dust on you and your blood sugars rise to them to a perfect level without a peak.  When you are high or you've just eaten a meal, she injects your insulin for you with super-soft needles so they never leave a mark (she may be only small, but she's wondrously strong!)  She never forgets to pick up your prescriptions for you and when you are about to run out of insulin in your cartridge, she senses it on the tips of her wings and flies to the fridge to bring you a new one.  She's an expert carbohydrate counter and she knows everything there is to know about diabetes, so you never need to see a clinician again if you don't want to - just ask her!

She lives inside your glucometer and some people think she answers to the name of 'NOT AGAIN!', but she doesn't really.  More often than not, she appears when she hears you say this because she knows it's when you need her most.  Her real name is D-Thanks Fairy and she's called this because she makes you thankful for the important things, like life itself.

D-Blog Week: My Memorable Day with Diabetes

Trying to think of my most 'memorable' day with diabetes has proved itself to be a challenge.  I reckon this is probably because when you've lived with it for 16 years, it begins to feel like every day blends into the next.  Diabetes feels like the norm and nothing more than a tedious concoction of highs, lows, prescriptions, appointments, blood tests, injections and so on and so forth.  Still there are times when diabetes surprises me, for the better and otherwise.

A few years ago I went to stay with a friend who lived almost 80 miles away from me.  Things were different then and I was at a stage with my diabetes where I tried to act as though it didn't exist.  I rarely tested my blood sugars (unless I thought I was dying), attempted to delay telling anyone I was diabetic and make up my blood sugars to write in my log book before an appointment with my clinician.  I remember absentmindedly taking an injection on the train, completely guesstimating how much insulin to administer, and not giving my diabetes another thought for the rest of the journey.  In all honesty I probably wouldn't have let it cross my mind for the rest of the weekend, had it not been for what happened that same night.

It was exciting!  I hadn't seen my friend for a couple of months or so and had really been looking forward to it.  We'd had a really nice evening, catching up and spending time.  There had barely been a moment of silence since we'd been reunited, until duty called and my friend nipped to the toilet.  I recall feeling tired and weak all of a sudden, although somehow it felt like I was barely even there at all, and decided to lay down.

The next thing I knew I was in a dream, at least it felt that way.  It was like something pulling me between two states of being and that 'something' was the person frantically rubbing my feet.  They were shouting "Daisy!" and, every now and then, I'd open my eyes a little and I'd catch a glimpse of unfamiliar faces.  I remember obediently sipping the orange juice from the glass that was being held to my lips and chewing jam on toast but forgetting to swallow.

When I came back to the waking world, I was told that I had a hypo which caused me to become unconscious.  My friend had called their grandfather, who just happened to be a type 1 diabetic and a doctor and luckily lived only next door, and he gave me a glucagon shot.  Not only did it put a complete downer on the rest of the weekend, but it was also one of the most terrifying and not to mention embarrassing evenings of my life (being fifteen years old and waking up surrounded by strangers with your socks off and strawberry jam all over your face is not fun!)

It's perhaps a little bit ironic that I don't actually remember the majority of one of my most memorable days with diabetes, but I do know that it changed my attitude towards my diabetes and made me more responsible for it.  That was the first time I have ever become unconscious because of my diabetes and I hope it will be the only time.  I genuinely owe my life to those who helped me that night and it's them I remember.

D-Blog Week: Demanding Difference

I find that I sign quite a lot of petitions nowadays, simply because I think that if a policy needs to be altered then people should come together as a force for that change. With regards to writing a petition, there are quite a few things that I would like to change about diabetes in general;  the most obvious being the fact that I have it in the first place, but I get the feeling that my pancreas has made a firm decision on that one.

Sometimes it's the little things that make living with type 1 diabetes that tiny bit easier and, seeing as demanding my pancreas to reboot itself might be considered a little far fetched, I've decided to ask for change in the more subtle areas of D-Life...

Accu-Chek Aviva Nano;  I like you.  You look all cute with your fancy, pebble-shaped exterior and you're so small that I can fit you in my smallest handbag alongside all my other bits and bobs.  However, I would like you to change just one thing for me...will you please give me a little longer to get my blood on to the test strip before you go and error on me?!  Some days my fingers are actually tired of having your good old friend MultiClix stabbing the tips of them, and they need a couple of seconds more than what you seem to be willing to give.  When my doctor asks me how I'm getting through as many packs of test strips as I am and I reply 'because my monitor is impatient' he gives me strange look, but he doesn't understand your nature like I do. 

Fast acting hypo treatment;  I find you a little tiresome.  Dextrose tablets are the worst, especially the orange ones.  Trying to eat you during a hypo is like trying to feast on sand in the desert.  Glucotabs you're a little better, seeing as I don't have to consume as many of you to raise my blood sugar, but the truth is that I'd much rather be eating a bar of chocolate.  Lucozade reminds me of being unwell and fruit juice feels like a very unappetising option when all I want to do is binge on all the unhealthy, fatty foods that aren't going to help one bit.  I'd like you to change your taste and texture, become more exciting for the palate as well as continue to raise my blood sugars at a rapid pace.  I hope this isn't too much to ask.  P.S. Just as an afterthought, thanks for saving my life of numerous occasions - I owe ya' one!

Day 27: Trials and Triumphs of T1

5 challenges:

1)  Doing my injections - I think this is one of the main challenges for most diabetics.  For me it's not because they hurt or I'm scared of needles, but because sometimes I just don't want to. Sometimes I feel I'm too busy, or I'm not in the right environment, or I just want to be non-diabetic for a day or two.

2)  Going to endo appointments -  I don't struggle as much with attending these anymore, but they used to feel like the bane of my life.  It didn't even matter that I only had to go every 3months in the paediatric clinic, just the thought of the whole ordeal would fill me with dread. Because I wasn't taking care of my diabetes properly, I hated finding out what my HbA1c was, having my insulin doses adjusted and being asked if I'd been recording my blood sugars, when I only ever felt that I was disappointing my diabetes team and myself when I hadn't.  The last thing I wanted to do was talk about my diabetes, when I was simply wishing it would disappear.

3)  Glucotabs and Lucozade - Because I've had diabetes since being really young, I've never acquired a sweet tooth.  I find anything that's really sugary to be absolutely repulsive.  However, two of the best quick-acting hypo treatments are Glucotabs and Lucozade.  Chocolate bars and cookies are appealing, but they won't raise your bg's quickly because of the fat in them and the way they are digested.  Glucotabs are the easiest to carry around with you and Lucozade is usually the easiest to get hold of in an emergency.   Convenient?  Yes.  Tasty?  No.  Sometimes I have to force myself to drink Lucozade or shove Glucotabs down my neck, even if I'm really low.

4)  Going for my retinopathy screening - Everytime I go, I work myself into such a frenzy.  Not only do I absolutely despise eye-drops, but I worry so much about what the results are going to be.  As soon as the screening is complete and they have the photos, I always hastily ask if they look ok, my voice quivering.  Sometimes I wonder if I should even go, but then I have to remind myself that ignorance isn't bliss.

5)  Doing the right thing -  I've often wrote about how diabetes doesn't give you a choice.  You have to do injections, test your blood etc.  However, I've realised that the thing that actually makes diabetes hard sometimes is that we do have a choice.  If I don't want to test my blood sugar, or give my insulin or treat my hypos I don't have to.  Although I know there will be horrendous long-term complications, sometimes it just feels easier not to at the time. So, for me, making the choice to do the right thing for my diabetes can be the biggest challenge of all.

5 victories:

1)  Doing the DAFNE program - Those on my diabetes team know that trying to just get me on it was like trying to make a sheep 'moo' for a long time.  I didn't want to know because 1. I was dubious that anything could be so amazing that it would massively improve my management and 2. I generally wasn't interested in anything that involved diabetes.  However after months of persuasion and going on and on about it, I did DAFNE.  They weren't lying, it was amazing.  I met some wonderful people and learned so much.  My HbA1c has improved significantly since doing DAFNE and I would recommend it to every diabetic.

2)  Talking to others about my diabetes - I used to be useless.  I'd get embarrassed and shy away from any situation which meant I'd have to reveal that I have diabetes.  That often meant that I'd end up in some sticky situations.  I'm not like that anymore.  I've come to realise that my diabetes is part of me and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

3)  Testing my blood - Estimating how much insulin I needed to give myself by seeing how high/low I felt at the time was never a good technique.  I did this most days for a couple of years and I regard myself as being lucky for not being riddled with diabetes complications as a punishment for my stupidity.  

4)  Carb counting - Hit and miss, hit and miss.  I was like that for years. I never really took notice as to why carb counting was so important and so, in my ignorance, rarely bothered to do it.  Nowadays, there isn't one packet of crisps or chocolate bar with unread nutritional information.  There isn't one rice dish or bowl of pasta that goes unweighed.  There isn't one place that I don't take my Carbs&Cals book.  My boyfriend and I even cook our potatoes/spaghetti/whatever in separate pans, just so we know I'm going to bolus correctly.  Some may say it's excessive, but I know I'm doing the right thing.

5)  Blogging - I see 'Diabetic Dais' and my Diabetes UK blog as victories because of how much writing them improves my diabetes control.  The more I write about diabetes, the more I focus on it and the better my blood sugars are!  Not only that, but I've met some beautiful diabetics through writing my blogs, who I wouldn't necessarily have had the pleasure of talking to if I didn't rant and ramble on like I do!

Day 25: The Strangest Hypo Ever

Daisy awoke normally.  She stirred and opened her eyes a little expecting the morning light to be flooding into her bedroom, only to find that it wasn't.  It was still dark outside, but she could make out the shapes of the familiar objects that surrounded her.  Books, cushions, a teddy bear.  The dim glow of the landing light made things just about visible.


She must have had at least a couple of hours before needing to get up for school, so she rolled over on to her side to drift back off to sleep...or at least she would have done had she have been able to.  The left hand side of Daisy's body wouldn't move.  Not even a little bit.  Not at all.


Panic started to set in almost immediately.  Her arm and hand were limp, fingers splayed out and her leg, motionless.  Help.  If she were to shout loud enough, she would surely be able to wake her mother in the room next door.  Opening her mouth she got ready to scream.  She produced no sound, not even a murmur.  Not even a whisper.  Silence. 


What should she do?  Dreadful thoughts polluted her mind.  Was she paralysed?  Would she ever be able to walk again?  She was only 11years old!  She'd worked herself into such a state that the possibility of her thinking straight, and coming to a logical decision, was unlikely.  Calm down, Daisy.


It was noticeable to her that the pace of her thumping heart had slowed.  It no longer felt like it was eager to make a rapid escape from the contours of her chest.  Daisy began to dedicate her focus to each, individual limb; pleading with her muscles, begging them for movement.  They remained still.  Not even a twitch.  Not even a twinge.  Lifeless.


She had to do something.  She had to get out of bed somehow.  Daisy rolled on to her stomach.  Using every bit of energy in the right hand side of her body, she twisted around until both legs were dangling over the side of her bunkbed.  Yes, her bunkbed.  Not only was she unable to move, but she was also 6ft off the ground.  For some reason, thoughts of Julio Iglesias being determined to beat his diagnosis of life-long paralysis popped into her head.  If that was what God had planned for her too, she was going to change his mind.


Daisy put her right foot on the ladder of the bunkbed and clung on to the higher metal bars with her working hand.  Fearful, she attempted to 'bunny-hop' towards the ground.  Only using one hand and one leg, this wasn't the best idea.  Her foot slipped out from underneath her.  She lost the grip she had and began to grasp at thin air.  She fell.


Her body and the hard, wooden floor collided with a tremendous bang.  For the first time since she had awoken, Daisy's vocal chords released sound.  Sound in the form of a wail, a scream, a cry for help.


The door to the bedroom swung open and her mum entered, panicked and flustered.  She picked Daisy up off of the floor, held her and asked her what had happened.  Daisy still couldn't speak.  She was struggling to even breathe.  She gasped and tried to inhale, but her lungs felt as though they had no capacity, even for oxygen.  


When her mother realised she wasn't going to get a response, she took action by addressing her first concern.  She tested Daisy's blood - 2.4, just as she'd expected.  Lucozade, digestive biscuits, some TLC.  Before she knew it, Daisy was back to normal.  She told her mum of her frightening and strange experience.  She clenched the fist of her left hand and then opened it.  She wiggled her toes on her left foot.  Relief.


Daisy got back into bed.  Her mum tucked her up and kissed her forehead before returning to her own room.  Daisy closed her eyes, just as the sun began to rise outside.  She thought of how that was the worst hypo she had ever had.  She hoped she would never experience a hypo like that again.  Daisy fell asleep.  Her Diabetes Devil rubbed it's hands together in delight, rejoicing in it's mischief and the trouble it had caused.

Day 21: Bad Diabetes Day

Right, so I was meant to be generating a 'health madlib poem' but I've wanted to write my own poem about diabetes for ages, so I'm going to use my artistic license and do that instead...

Bad Diabetes Day

Wake up in the morning,

On the wrong side of the bed,

Gasping for some water,

And with a pounding in my head.

Testing my blood sugar,

Hope for nice digits on my screen,

Instead I just wanted to cry,

When Glucometer shows 16!

Get ready to bolus, full of rage,

I hate it when I'm high.

Especially when I'm looking after myself,

And there seems no reason why.

Inject what I'm supposed to,

Manage to keep a level head,

Want to make my blood sugars balanced,

Not end up hypo instead!

Time to check for ketones,

Hope it isn't DKA,

Don't want my blood sugars to be running high,

I just want to get on with my day!

Don't want to test over and over,

Or correction bolus repeatedly,

Don't want to inject in front of people,

Or even do it secretly.

I don't want to change my lancets,

Don't even want to think about insulin,

Don't want to prick my fingers,

Don't want any needles to touch my skin.

Don't want to count my carbohydrates,

Or worry about kidneys, feet and eyes,

I only want to carry a little handbag,

But it's got to fit my diabetes supplies.

Sometimes I want to scream,

But there's no point in raising my voice.

I have to do these things whether I like it or not,

Diabetes leaves me no choice.

Retinal Rage and Making Mistakes

Last week wasn't the best.  Unfortunately new-found knowledge managed to put a downer on the majority of my days.  I'm now ready to blog about it and perhaps vent my frustrations about the current circumstance regarding my diabetes.  Apologies in advance, just in case.


I try to maintain a positive mind-set about my diabetes.  I acknowledge that there are far worse diseases to have and much more unfortunate situations to be in.  I also respect that diabetes, when well managed, doesn't have to compromise your general health or lifestyle.  That's why it just about broke my heart when I received a letter to inform me that I have developed background retinopathy.


Being told this at the age of 19 isn't what I wanted to hear, to say the least.  I felt upset of course...so upset that I bawled my eyes out for about an hour.  Most of all I felt angry.  Angry that I'm 19 and I have background retinopathy, angry that I feel like I've tried so hard for 15 years to control my diabetes well, but more than anything else I was angry with myself for, what felt like, obviously not doing enough.


I find that there's a lot of guilt involved in diabetes.  I recently read a fantastic post from Meagan Esler at Diabetes Health that confirmed this to me.  I end up feeling guilty if my bg's are too high or too low or if my HbA1c isn't the percentage it should be and I feel guilty that my loved ones are affected by it almost as much as I am.  If I let it, the guilt surrounding my retinopathy could probably consume me.  I feel awful that I've allowed those ketones to even exist, let alone harm me.


So I spent a week beating myself up about this, but there has to come a time when you stop torturing yourself and give yourself a break.  I deal with the rollercoaster ride that is diabetes management every single day of my life.  Alright, so in the past 15 years there will have been days when I haven't carb counted correctly or I've accidentally given an insulin shot later than I should have done or I've eaten a chocolate bar or two.  Perhaps these mishaps are the causes of my background retinopathy - I'll never know for sure.


I refuse to live my life continually making myself feel bad.  Of course, I am making changes; I'm now trying harder than ever and making even more effort to ensure that my blood sugar levels are balanced.  I just think it's about time that we diabetics cut ourselves a bit of slack.  Why is it that so many of us end up, probably subconsciously, thinking that having diabetes deprives us of something that makes us all human?  No one is perfect.  Everyone makes mistakes and everybody is allowed to...yes diabetics, even you!

Happy 15th Birthday, Diabetes!

There it is - Date of diagnosis: 13th November 1996.  Happy Birthday 'D'!

Wow, 15 years old.  You're looking good for your age, Diabetes.  I only have a vague recollection of your birth, but since then I think we have created enough memories to last a life time.

We've spent some interesting time together over the years, you and I.  From hospital admissions, to lows on the tops of cliffs with no hypo treatment, to DKA, to emergency prescriptions.  It's safe to say that, with you around Diabetes, there's never a dull moment.

I won't be cracking out the champagne, blowing up any balloons or lighting any candles on a birthday cake, but I celebrate this day nevertheless.  15 years on from diagnosis and we're living pretty harmoniously.  You're part of me and you're here for the long-haul.  Here's to the next however many years...x