Day 21: Bad Diabetes Day

Right, so I was meant to be generating a 'health madlib poem' but I've wanted to write my own poem about diabetes for ages, so I'm going to use my artistic license and do that instead...

Bad Diabetes Day

Wake up in the morning,

On the wrong side of the bed,

Gasping for some water,

And with a pounding in my head.

Testing my blood sugar,

Hope for nice digits on my screen,

Instead I just wanted to cry,

When Glucometer shows 16!

Get ready to bolus, full of rage,

I hate it when I'm high.

Especially when I'm looking after myself,

And there seems no reason why.

Inject what I'm supposed to,

Manage to keep a level head,

Want to make my blood sugars balanced,

Not end up hypo instead!

Time to check for ketones,

Hope it isn't DKA,

Don't want my blood sugars to be running high,

I just want to get on with my day!

Don't want to test over and over,

Or correction bolus repeatedly,

Don't want to inject in front of people,

Or even do it secretly.

I don't want to change my lancets,

Don't even want to think about insulin,

Don't want to prick my fingers,

Don't want any needles to touch my skin.

Don't want to count my carbohydrates,

Or worry about kidneys, feet and eyes,

I only want to carry a little handbag,

But it's got to fit my diabetes supplies.

Sometimes I want to scream,

But there's no point in raising my voice.

I have to do these things whether I like it or not,

Diabetes leaves me no choice.

Dealing with Diabetes.

This is my first post in a while - DOC, I have missed you!  I'd like to thank everyone who has been checking my blog 'just in case'.  I'm back and I'm back for good.


I'm not going to lie, recently has been one of the strangest, most surreal and probably most difficult times of my life.  Along with the stresses and strains of leaving home and becoming independent, the unexpected passing of a loved one has impacted my ability to cope with my diabetes to a shocking degree.


Even as someone who is usually very dedicated to and knows all too well the importance of trying to keep on top of my diabetes care, once I had begun to neglect it, it wasn't long until things had spiraled completely out of control.


Currently, my life seems to consist of bouncing around between horrifically high and worryingly low blood sugar levels.  It gets to a point where you dread testing because you know the number on the screen is going to make you feel physically sick to read.  So, one day you don't test because you're wallowing and then before you know it you're stuck in a vicious circle.


Diabetes is unforgiving and impatient.  It doesn't stop, even when you want to.  It doesn't care how sad you are, or how much you've got on your mind.  If anything, it tries its very hardest to make things more difficult.  If I want to run away, I can guarantee that the D is coming with me.  There's no shaking that devil off my back.


Sometimes you need a wake-up call, a bombshell to hit before you realise that ignoring the D isn't going to help you at all.  Mine came in the form of this:

An off-the-scale high reading?!  Confirmation that I need to get back on top of looking after myself.  No matter how bad things are, allowing my diabetes to go by the wayside is not the solution and never will be.


So here I am, taking each day as it comes, battling with the bad times, dealing with diabetes.