I'm not going to lie, recently has been one of the strangest, most surreal and probably most difficult times of my life. Along with the stresses and strains of leaving home and becoming independent, the unexpected passing of a loved one has impacted my ability to cope with my diabetes to a shocking degree.
Even as someone who is usually very dedicated to and knows all too well the importance of trying to keep on top of my diabetes care, once I had begun to neglect it, it wasn't long until things had spiraled completely out of control.
Currently, my life seems to consist of bouncing around between horrifically high and worryingly low blood sugar levels. It gets to a point where you dread testing because you know the number on the screen is going to make you feel physically sick to read. So, one day you don't test because you're wallowing and then before you know it you're stuck in a vicious circle.
Diabetes is unforgiving and impatient. It doesn't stop, even when you want to. It doesn't care how sad you are, or how much you've got on your mind. If anything, it tries its very hardest to make things more difficult. If I want to run away, I can guarantee that the D is coming with me. There's no shaking that devil off my back.
Sometimes you need a wake-up call, a bombshell to hit before you realise that ignoring the D isn't going to help you at all. Mine came in the form of this:
An off-the-scale high reading?! Confirmation that I need to get back on top of looking after myself. No matter how bad things are, allowing my diabetes to go by the wayside is not the solution and never will be.
So here I am, taking each day as it comes, battling with the bad times, dealing with diabetes.