D-Doc Syndrome and a whole packet of GlucoTabs.

Today I had went to the hospital for my routine, diabetes check up.  It was my first appointment since leaving Paediatrics so I guess I was a little apprehensive about how different things would now be but, as it turned out, there was nothing to feel worried about!  Still, that didn't stop my blood sugar levels from throwing a bit of a tantrum at the prospect of a hospital appointment.


I woke up this morning at a 8.1 mmol - beautiful!  I ate my bowl of porridge (oatmeal) and gave myself 3.5 units of NovoRapid as normal.  Usually this would result in nice, balanced bg levels for the rest of the morning...but not today.


The journey to the hospital had been relatively stress-free - a little trouble parking but nothing horrendous and I had given myself plenty of time so I wasn't stressing or getting myself in a tizzy.  I found my way to the new clinic without getting lost (yessss!) and was sat in the waiting room promptly for my appointment at 11am.


Whilst waiting, I realised that my vision was slightly blurred.  At first, I completely disregarded the idea that I could have been low - I hardly ever go hypo in the morning and I didn't go to bed until late last night, so I thought that must have been why.  Nevertheless, I decided to test my blood sugar levels.  Luckily, I went with my better judgement...


2.2!?  I hadn't been that low in such a long time.  As fast as you could say 'diabetes', I'd dived inside my bag, opened a new packet of glucose tabs and started shovelling them into my mouth - not a pretty site, I suspect.  Usually 3 glucose tabs are enough to bring me up from a hypo, but 4 later and I was still shaking like Outkast's Polaroid picture.


I had my HbA1C taken, was weighed, measured and spoke to the dietician and was beginning to feel better.  All of this took 1 hour and 20 minutes.  When I went back into the waiting room before seeing the doctor, I tested again.  This time...3.7! Still hypo!  I couldn't believe it. I ate the rest of the packet of glucose tabs.  I have never eaten a whole packet in one day in the 14 years that I've had diabetes!


Have you ever heard of 'White Coat Syndrome?'  Basically, according to good old Wiki, it's:

"A phenomenon in which patients exhibit elevated blood pressure in a clinical setting but not in other settings. It is believed that this is due to the anxiety some people experience during a clinic visit." 

Well, I've diagnosed myself with something similar.  I call it 'Diabetes Doctor Syndrome' or 'D-Doc Syndrome' for short.  I believe that this is when a diabetic's blood sugar levels will either drop or rise into a hypo or hyperglycaemic attack, caused by anxiety they experience when attending a diabetes check-up with their diabetes doctor.  Of course, I've got no scientific proof of this, but I reckon it might have some truth value!  I always go low for no apparent reason before an appointment, but that might just be me.

Anyway, everything went well on the whole.  The doctors didn't seem to have any concerns and I was praised by the dietician for my perseverance with accurate carb counting - it's very much been a 'work in progress', but I'm getting there!  I also got 2 new NovoPens, which were   definitely needed as I reckon I've probably been using my old one for the last ten years or so.

Move aside old, tacky NovoPen with flaking paintwork and no lid.

 Behold...my new NovoPen!  Silver, slightly more classy, a nice case for it to go in and what's this?  A lid!?  Oh my word!  How beautiful.  Haha :)

Most importantly, my blood sugar levels managed to stabilise after a while and by the time I got home (2 and a bit hours after the horrific 2.2) I was 7.6...phew! And about time too! :D

(By the way, I apologise that I haven't yet been able to write a post about 'Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solution' as I said I would.  As I'm currently taking my final A Level exams, the only books I've had my head stuck in over the past few weeks have been my revision guides!  However, my last exams are next week so I will finally be able to start reading it, so keep checking!  Wishing you health and happiness wherever you are)

Examination Consideration

I'm currently taking my A Level exams at 6th Form.  These are my final exams before I head off to University and I need to get certain grades in all 3 of my subjects in order to ensure that I get a place on my course (Speech and Language Therapy).  So, as you can imagine, I'm already experiencing a certain level of stress and that's before I've even begun to think about the ways in which my diabetes may possibly affect the exam process.

In most situations, it's fine.  I make sure my bg levels are well controlled the day before the exam, I wake up in the morning, test levels, inject insulin, have a sensible breakfast, test levels again, go to 6th Form, test levels again, do the exam.  However, today's exam (Philosophy and Ethics) was made up of two papers to be completed back-to-back over a time period of FOUR HOURS including the extra time I'm awarded for my diabetes.

Four hours?  I knew that would be too long to go without at least testing my blood sugar levels.  The D was already playing up - this morning I'd woken up at 3.2, not a good start.  The last thing I needed was for my levels to be bouncing about whilst I was trying to 'critically assess the claim that people should not be held responsible for their actions'.

Thankfully, the examiners were lovely and extremely considerate.  They made sure that I could test my blood sugar levels whenever I needed to and were very understanding about me stopping for a couple of minutes mid-way through writing to scoff a couple of glucose tabs.  They can be very strict about the use of any electronic appliances during the examination process, and although of course they would have to let me use my testing monitor, I appreciate that they could have decided to have made things awkward if they had wanted to.  I was more than pleased that they didn't ask any questions - they just let me get on with it!

Hooray for the examiners!  Now, please give me a good grade ;)

Panic for the Pancreas.

I know, Diabetes can be a scary thing for everyone - the person who has it and those involved in their life.  However one thing that really gets on my nerves is how as soon as someone knows that you're a diabetic, EVERYTHING IS BLOWN WAY OUT OF PROPORTION!

For instance, I can't even count with all my fingers and all my toes the amount of times when I've uttered the sentence "I'm hungry" and all of a sudden it's as though people go into emergency mode and it's all: "ARE YOU LOW!?  OH GOSH, WE NEED TO GET YOU SOMETHING TO EAT!  I KNEW YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD THAT EXTRA SLICE OF TOAST AT BREAKFAST!  CHECK YOUR BLOOD SUGARS QUICKLY!  OH NO, OH NO, OH NO!"...   

NO!  I'M JUST HUNGRY!  YOU KNOW, HUNGRY?  THAT SENSATION YOU FEEL IN YOUR STOMACH WHEN IT'S BEEN A FEW HOURS SINCE YOU LAST ATE AND YOUR METABOLISM HAS KICKED IN?  WHEN YOUR GUT BEGINS TO MAKE A RUMBLING SOUND?  THE EXACT SAME HUNGRY AS YOU FEEL UNDER SIMILAR CIRCUMSTANCES?

The same thing happens when I say I've got a headache ("ARE YOU HIGH!?  YOU GET HEADACHES WHEN YOU'RE HIGH DON'T YOU!?  ARE YOU THIRSTY TOO!?  MAYBE YOU NEED A COUPLE OF UNITS OF INSULIN!")  People say things like that as though it couldn't just be that I'm a bit dehydrated and that's the reason why I've got a headache and I'm a tad thirsty.

Sometimes it really bugs me.  I understand that people are only looking out for me, but it's as if they go into a complete state of urgency.  Okay, yes, I do become ravenous when I'm low and I do get headaches when I'm high, but I'm pretty darn good at spotting my symptoms of unruly blood sugars and there are often other tell-tale signs than just hunger or just a headache.  It's like people define you by your diabetes, as though they're saying:

"YOU'RE A DIABETIC so you can't just be hungry - you MUST be low"

or

"YOU HAVE DIABETES so your headache IS caused by high blood sugar levels"   

Yeah, I do have diabetes...but I am still a human being!  My body isn't simply made up of loads and loads of 'Diabetes orientated' hormones, sensory and motor neurones etc. as well as one, magnificent 'Diabetes Spinal Cord'.  The only thing that's different in my body is that my pancreas decided that it wants a permanent hibernation period, whereas the pancreas of a non-diabetic is far less lazy.  THAT.IS.ALL.

So, in future, I wish people would save the panic - some grub or some paracetamol and a glass of water would be much more appreciated :)

Woo hoo!

Finally, after 2 and a half weeks of waiting and constant checking of my Amazon account, my 2nd hand copy of 'Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solution' has arrived!  It cost me £4.37 in hard back, which I thought to be an absolute bargain!  In fact, I actually also love the fact that it's 2nd hand.  Books always seem to have a bit more character when the pages are a little off-white in colour and the cover looks as though it's seen better days.  I always interpret these as signs that it was a good book.

I've heard great things about 'Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solution' - I have been told that it has changed the lives of diabetics for the better.  I'm hoping that it has the same effect on me.  I thought that, from now on and until I finish the book, I will write one post each week (along with any other blogging I might do) about something I've learned from reading it and the changes I start to spot in my diabetes management from putting the Dr.'s advice into practice.  If you haven't already read it then perhaps you could discover some interesting things too, or if you have you can recap and let me know about what 'Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solution' did for you!

Anyway, that's all for now folks.  I'm off to be a book-worm :) 

A friend with 'D' is a friend indeed.

Todd Newton is a friend of mine who I appreciate greatly.  We met when I started high school in September 2004, where he had been attending for 2 years already, at the nurse's office.  Todd has type one diabetes.

I thought I'd take the opportunity to take the back-seat and dedicate today's post to Todd.  I wanted to allow him to tell his 'Diabetic Story' and convey his own feelings about diabetes.  Our journeys along Diabetic Road have been very different from one another and so, for a bit of controversy, here is Todd's D-Story...

I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes on 3rd February 1993, at the age of 2.  I know that my mum found it difficult to deal with, as she had already brought up my sister who had been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes for ten years.  Although I realise how hard it must have been and it wasn't easy, I also admire my mum and sister for the help they have provided with my diabetes.

As a child, I suppose diabetes was easy to accept.  I knew that I was able to have a biscuit at 10am and 2pm, which encouraged me to learn how to tell the time!  Going without sweets and chocolate wasn't all that difficult either, as I knew I wasn't allowed them and had never really had them anyway.

However, struggles really began when I started secondary school.  Having extra time for exams because of my diabetes seemed like a good thing, but it made you stand out in an environment where I wanted to fit in as a teenage boy.  Also, with high school came parties and drinking.  Again, the pressure to fit in with my peer group often left little room for 'proper' care of my diabetes.

I have some amazing friends who try their best to understand my diabetes, but I find it hard to trust them with it fully.  I have advised them that, in an emergency, they should call for an ambulance as quickly as possible, but I also realise that when my blood sugars are low I seem drunk.  This can cause a lot of confusion and makes my lows harder for others to identify, especially on nights out.

At the age of 16, a dangerous combination of hatred of my diabetes and other factors in my personal life became too much for me to handle.  I took an overdose of insulin, with the intention of committing suicide.  I was in a coma for 10 hours.  Thankfully, I didn't die that day and I have sworn never again to do anything like that.  I guess I got to a point where I forgot the important things in life.

My advice to others with diabetes is never to let it stop you from doing things you want to do.  Look after it: eat the right things and take your insulin, but don't let it hold you back.  That is something I regret and something I try not to allow nowadays.



13th November 2012: My wonderful friend Todd Newton, who wrote this post and was so delighted to do so, is no longer with us. He will be missed by everyone who knew him and I am sending my thoughts to his family at this time. Click here to read my post to commemorate his life. RIP Todd ♥

Riding The D-Coaster.

Blood sugar levels over the past few days have been, being entirely honest, HORRIFIC!  I've been up and down, up and down, up and down more times than you've had hot dinners (slight exaggeration perhaps, but it's still been pretty darn bad!)

The most unbelievably annoying thing about the whole situation is that there really doesn't seem to be any reason to explain why my levels won't just balance themselves out!  It's at times like these that I imagine my blood sugar levels to be like a young, rebellious child; throwing tantrums and refusing to sit still for more than a minute or two.

However, all of these unpredictable highs and lows have really brought something to my attention...THE COLOUR OF MY BLOOD!  I know, sounds ridiculous right?  I can hear you all now:  'Daisy, did you not realise before this week that your blood was red, dear?  Oh you poor thing!'  But no, that was not what I was referring to, clever cloggs!  Instead, what I have really taken notice of over the past few days is the shade of red that my blood is depending on whether my levels are hi or low.

Although this is something that has been brought to my attention before, I did think it would make a good blog post.  I was wondering if anyone else had discovered this also with their own blood?  Even more interesting would be if anyone could actually give me a scientific reason as to why this happens?!  Really, I'm intrigued to know! 
 

 

This was my blood when I was hi (16.2 - oh my worddddd!)  I wanted to get a photo of my blood when low, but I'm afraid that I was far too busy scrambling around for glucose tabs and other sugary substances to shove into my mouth at quite a pace to concern myself with the whereabouts of my camera.  Perhaps another time.

Still...I think that blood looks bright red, don't you?  When I'm low it's a deep, dark red.  I really hope my eyes haven't been playing tricks on me, or even worse that I've just become completely delusional.  Please, ease my mind!

I hope you are well and that the D-Coaster is at a stand-still for you this week. x 

How to avoid embarassment

Even though I've had diabetes for the majority of my lifetime, it has only been in the last 2 years that I have begun to feel comfortable with talking to others about my diabetes and probably only in the last few months that I have really started to accept it as part of me.  Before I would allow myself to go hi and allow all of those nasty little ketones to cause destruction in my body JUST so that I wouldn't have to eat differently or admit that I am diabetic in front of others.

I am now very different.  This change came about 2 years ago, at the age of 16, when I started my first and on-going relationship with my boyfriend, Adam.  We'd been together for a few weeks, and I had only mentioned in brief that I was a diabetic, when I began to feel very low whilst hanging out at his place.  At this time I was not at all the prepared or responsible diabetic that I should have been and so didn't have any glucose tabs with me.

I remember sitting there, trying to pluck up the courage to tell him how I was feeling and what I needed, allowing myself to go lower and lower until I got that horrid, uncontrollable shaking in my hands (I don't know if anyone else gets this when they go low, but it's usually one of the first signs that my body gives me!) My thoughts went back and forth: Will he still like me if I tell him? Will it freak him out? until I realised that I needed to stop being so silly...this was a life/death situation!!

So this is how it went: 

Me:  Erm...Adam...Don't panic or anything, because it's okay, but my diabetes is making me feel quite low, which means I need some sugar quite quickly.  Have you got any sugary drinks?

Adam:  Sure!

...As you can see, not a problem.  At all.

So, here are a few of my tips for avoiding the ULTIMATE embarrassment of going into a diabetic-induced coma, or just becoming really ill in front of people to avoid maybe a minute of blushing:

•  On a first date, or when you start becoming friends with someone, tell them you're diabetic!  Let them know what it means and just don't make a big deal about it.  Stay cool and calm.  I can assure you that they won't think any less of you because you're diabetic - if they like you then they will respect you and take you as you are, diabetes or no diabetes!  If, in the unexpected and unlikely situation that they do make a fuss of things and judge you unfairly, it's probably a pretty good indicator that they're not the kind of person that is worth bothering with in the first place!

• Always have a back-up plan!  Wherever you go, make sure that you have everything you need in case of an emergency.  This includes: blood testing monitor and finger pricker, glucose tabs and injection pen.  I have had to learn from experience that these little gems are vital to avoiding embarrassment (see my Diabetes Bloopers post).  If you don't have them, when the D starts to throw temper tantrums in its unpredictable state, you are going to have to go through the whole ordeal of explaining the ins and outs of your diabetic situation to a stranger.  Being prepared is always a good thing. 

My bag, on a recent night out clubbing.  Okay, so it's a bit of a tight squeeze, but hey ho!

  

•  Never be afraid to question.  Let's face it, some people are down-right ignorant.  I can't even count on my fingers and toes the amount of times that I have had to take back drinks to the counter at McDonald's, or ask waiters at restaurants if they definitely gave me the Diet Coke that I asked for rather than the most-definitely normal Coca-Cola that I can identify quite easily (there is a distinctive difference in taste, regardless of what anyone tries to tell me!)  Over the years, I've come to realise that the only way to avoid this mix-up of understanding is to mention as you order.  Now, when I order a drink I always say "Can you make sure that definitely is diet please, just because I'm diabetic?"  Trust me, the moment you utter the word 'diabetic' is the moment they will make sure that your drink is sugar free.  No one wants to be sued do they?  

•   Do it if you need to!  I admit it, if I can get away with not doing my blood test in front of people, or not revealing my injection pen to the world then I will.  If there's a toilet about then that's where I'll toddle off to, rather than exposing the fact that I'M A DIABETIC to the entire shopping mall, or class of fellow students.  However, there are times when it's urgent!  Once, I was at a bus stop waiting for my bus into town when I began to feel so hi that I felt physically sick.  Yes, there were other people sat at the bus stop also, but that didn't stop me from whipping my injection pen out of my bag and giving myself a few units in my stomach (as discretely as possible, of course!)  Sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures and it's not worth putting off testing your blood glucose levels, or not giving yourself your insulin just because you're in front of others.

 Of course I know that diabetes can seem embarrassing sometimes, but acknowledging it and occasionally allowing yourself to experience a blush or two could prevent one massiveeee 'OMG - CRINGE!' moment.

Peace and love, guys'n'gals x